| whos ready for another alcohol fueled entry? |
[15 Jun 2006|04:44am] |
me apparently. uhm everything..sucks. and rejection sucks. even if you dnt kno wwhat it feels like, im sure you can at leasst pretend to imagine. maybe nt. i wish ii had a soul so i could cry these days. but no. no tears never come. not for a long time. i just kind of stare at things. and yes i do resort to drugs and alcohol to deal with my problems. if you have a problem with that, then youre ridiculous. we should never base our judgements of each other on our faults. what kind of person would yo be if you hated someone just because they couldnt cope iwth shit without outside forces. you would be uninformed. and a jerk. and have no idea whatkind of shit this is. what this is like. to be alone. to be in this fucking family where currently 1/2 of our income and stability as we know it depends on the drug test my dad is waiting to receive. hopefully it will come back negative but it all depends on a $40 drink from natures nook.
people say friends dont destroy each other, what do they know about friends/
nothing obviously. the one thing about this shit that poelple dont know is about the field. the playing grounds. when youre with a bunch of people, everones on different levels. they assume shit about each other. but its like a big plow comes and levels the ground for miles. were all the same now. were all down. laying down. we can see each other for who we really are and choose whether or nt to accept it. thats why i do this. this is why my family is based on this. we cant be real. this is real for us. this is who we are, truely.
so back to what i was originally saying. vulnerability in front of others can be risky and not always work in our favor. this is rejection. real rejection. this is when its unbearable. flat out..youre not good enough. not only that, someone else IS good enough. and are going to be there just as long as me. just fucking there. and max wore his shirt so it doesnt even smell like him anymore. i officially have nothing.
my boyfriend is in jail and really doesnt like me that much anyways.
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[13 Jun 2006|03:19am] |
30 Wierd Questions & even better answers! These are supposedly 30 questions that no one would EVER think to ask. Answer them, with what comes to mind first, then REPOST the bulletin!
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror this morning when you first woke up, what was the first thing you thought?
wow im pale
2. When is the next time you will have sex?
ha well..i have no idea
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DUCK"?
"PLUCK"?
4. Favorite planet?
uranus
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
work
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
temperature by sean paul
7. What shirt are you wearing?
sarahs national trail shirt
8. Do you "label" yourself?
nah
9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
walmart flippity dippities
10. Bright or Dark Room?
unusally bright
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey?
shes my homegirl
12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
the one without the raccoon sleeping in it
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
sleeping thank god!
14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
:/ i just erased all my messages
15. Who is the coolest person in your life?
probably that jeff guy at work
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
shut
17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
jacob
18. Last furry thing you touched?
pannah baby
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
not sure
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
im actually with the 21st century...
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
i have not yet experienced a favorite age
22. Your worst enemy?
i have no emenies!
23. What is your current desktop picture?
an ugly one of me and jessie
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
rachel will you hand me my glasses theyre right there no under..like yeah thanks
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly which would you pick?
ONE MILLION DOLLARS I WOULD BUY BRITNEY SPEARS AND MAKE HER WEAVE GOLD FOR ME FOREVER
26. Do you like someone?
uh huh!
27. The last song you listened to?
oceanographers choice
28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, what would you do?
rachel duck! get down bitch lover!
29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who's in your life right
now who would it be?
GOD lol i dont know
30. What is the closest object to your left foot?
a printer
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| my eyes are green because theyre ALIVE |
[12 Jun 2006|11:33pm] |
Well
Guy in a skeleton costume
Comes up to the guy in the Superman suit
Runs through him with a broadsword
I flipped the television off
Bring all the bright lights up
Turn the radio up loud
I don't know why I'm so persuaded
That if I think things through
Long enough and hard enough
I'll somehow get to you
But then you came in and we locked eyes
You kicked the ashtray over as we came toward each other
Stubbed my cigarette out against the west wall
Quickly lit another
Look at that
Would you look at that?
We're throwing off sparks
What will I do when I don't have you
To hold onto in the dark?
Yes
Everybody's going to need a witness
Everybody's going to need a little backup
In case the scene gets nasty
You throw the attic window open
And I throw myself all around you
And night comes to Tallahassee
I don't know why it's gotten harder to keep myself away
Thought I'd finally beat the feeling back
It all came back today
And then we fell down
And we locked arms
We knocked the dresser over as we rolled across the floor
I don't mean it when I tell you
That I don't love you any more
Look at that
Would you look at that?
The way the ceiling starts to swerve
What will I do when I don't have you
When I finally get what I deserve?
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[20 May 2006|12:21am] |
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'cause he was beauty to our eyes.
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[16 May 2006|01:59am] |
in all my dreams dear you seem to leave me
when i awake my poor heart pains
so wont you come back and make me happy?
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[05 May 2006|02:41am] |
grunka lunka doopity doo
hahahhaahhahahaahhahha eveyrthing is so damn funny when youre hanging out with morgan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<3 my one legged heroooo
lately everything ahs been sooo werid...attendancce is bad..grades are dropping...ugh
i hate school i cant wait for it to be over..can i get a amen? or AN amen whichever? so willy///////
hahahhahahha
hey yeah fry lela and bender are missing if youllexcuse me
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[21 Mar 2006|12:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 content |
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life = actually really good lately. im at sacred grounds right now using their super fast computers..i think i could definitely get used to this...
been hanging out with mr. tumnus a lot.. he makes me happy (:
i hope jessie gets her cell back soon...
well everyone call me and hang out with me and etc.
AMERICAN IDOL NIGHT!!!!!!!!!
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[06 Mar 2006|04:21am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 pissed off |
] |
fuck this.
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[28 Jan 2006|10:18pm] |
my chest hurts.
comptycomptycompty. lol.
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[18 Jan 2006|04:24am] |
hey if you guys ever need to get ahold of me, just call me on my new RAZOR PHONE.
.277.3018.
HOLLA AT ME!!!
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[16 Jan 2006|04:27am] |
brads new doll is the ugliest thing ive ever seen.
this weekend = great tips.
good job west side of richmond.
someone call me to celebrate martin luther king jr. day!!
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[06 Jan 2006|08:43pm] |
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I GOT MY LICENSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| whats going on?? |
[15 Dec 2005|08:32pm] |
my other dearest hampster, annabel lee, was just found dead in her burrow. i was so good to the hampsters, i took good care of them. i dont know what happened. im sorry if i did something wrong. i love you dear..
please comment with your blessings.
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[11 Dec 2005|08:39pm] |
workworkworkworkwork oh well.
<333 (:
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| the flu...can...suck it |
[07 Dec 2005|10:56am] |
well here i am. at home. during school. aggain. oh wellll.. i was vomiting/dry heaving all night. that was uhm..fun. i spent 3 hours and $65 getting my hair dyed yesterday, its a little off from what i wanted but the basic principle is there. it is definitely blonde and it is definitely purple. my little sister cried because she didnt recognize me this morning :/ . im gonna go retrieve the mail.
bye all <3
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[03 Dec 2005|08:01pm] |
hey, so today was the worst day of my life. so everyone should call me and IM me and invite me places because im pissed.
yeaheyahyeah
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| drum rolllll |
[28 Oct 2005|09:44pm] |
this is my new car (: (: (: (:
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stranded_panda's journal
